Hi y’all, a personal ramblings post here today. July was a brutal month for me (#mercuryretrograde?) with an AC condensation line leak that ended up leaking into our bathroom (well first it leaked into our closet, then the bathroom). This actually had been going on for years (before we purchased the apartment) because there was mold under the flooring and on the drywall behind the mirror. Glad we got it all removed but it’s been quite a trial. Now we have to rebuild our bathroom and on a budget since our home insurance deductible is so high it doesn’t make sense to file a claim. Oh and now that we’re using our second bathroom consistently for the first time, there’s a leak at the tub faucet. Aaaand the kitchen sink disposal was leaking too (luckily my husband has decided to tackle these things with a little help from YouTube so we’re not paying for these smaller fixes).
On top of that my fibroids have grown very large again so I look like I’m back in my second trimester of pregnancy (I could probably continue posts about pregnancy outfits at this point lol). I suspect it’s all the hormones now that I’ve stopped breastfeeding (yep I’ve given up—I tried my best but when I only produce a third of her needed intake despite all the work and grief, I decided it just wasn’t worth my mental health). Anyway it looks like a hysterectomy is pretty evident and it’s just a matter of when. I have a whole slew of thoughts and emotions about that but I’m not quite ready to unpack them here.
And lastly I’ve been thinking more about my dad (who passed away in December). Maybe it’s because we finally booked our flights back home to Hawaii and now I have to face that 1) he won’t be there (this will be my first time back since he passed) and 2) I have to clean-up and donate/throwaway most of his belongings at his apartment. I’ve read several articles about grief cleaning to prepare myself. I know the stuff does not make the man so I only plan to keep a couple of his things (especially since it’ll have to fit into a suitcase to bring back to Cali). But we’ll see how that goes.
Sorry if that was all a bit heavy, but August is a new month and I’m ready to face my challenges head on!